Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Humm

I had something to say...really I did. OH yes! Now I remember...

Last night I had to make a trip to Miami...yes, that dreaded physcho city of shitty (gumball machine drivers license getting) motorists. All of whom gesture a lot with their horns and hands...and speak in every language but English.

I am going to work in the middle east and because of the recent pranks of a few lunatics at NASA, anyone now even remotely close to working for or with the government has to take a WABI test. Now I could make jokes about what WABI stands for...but I'm busy and in a hurry and now my poor brain is taxed form the Miami experience. I also had to go buy a pair of ho-bag shoes at DSW....you can't go to Miami in crocs...it's just not done.

The test took place on the roof in a parking garage and was supposed to determine if I was nuts or not. A computerized nut case check on a roof in a parking garage...WTF? I kid you not!

The test was supposed to take 90 minutes and consisted of 131 questions. Silly stuff about driving (like I'm gonna say I drive like Mario Andretti on a bad day) and being a team player (is there an I in team , because I am so incredibly self absorbed) and if I scream and throw temper tantrums when I am frustrated (only sexually...not at work....unless...well never mind that's a whole nuther story) and if I hold a grudge (huh? they should have asked my ex-fre^&ing husband). I was outta there in 20 minutes with a "passed and welcome to your next step in processing...read that as...the unrelenting and never ending form filling out that you have to do in order to make a buck around here".

Now I have to laugh because several of my friends said (when they heard I was going and had to take a sanity test) "Ha ha...you won't be going anywhere, you're nuts" . I think that's why I did so well on the test. I am nuts.

3 comments:

Silverback said...

Ok so what were these NASA pranks then ?

Ian

Paradise Found said...

You know...the female astroNUT who was obsessed with another astronaut and drove cross country in a diaper so she didn't have to stop and pee on her way to knock off the guy’s girlfriend.

Then there was the guy who shot his boss (while holding hostages) and then himself at the JSC in Houston...my daughter, who works for the CFO was there at the time and was one of several evacuated by swat team members.

Yes, that made my day...watching CNN while your child's work is being surrounded by the swat team and the media AND talking to her on the phone while she is under a desk locked in her office with guys running down the hall with machine guns and no ones knows how many lunatics are in the building or where…

I shouldn’t complain. We live in the USA, not in Africa or parts of the Middle and Far East, where worse things happen on a daily basis…

Silverback said...

Oh THOSE lunatics. I remember the stories now.

I found the non stop driving one VERY hard to believe. I mean what normal American could drive for so long without stopping at a fast food outlet !!!???

My bad

Ian