Change

Well, Ethernet, it's been a long time and so much has happened and changed. I look back on all these posts and I see someone, whose blog I would read, perhaps even look forward to and I think "where did this woman go, what happened to her"? It's been almost 8 years. They say your body changes, cells regenerate in 7 years, sometimes your tastes change. But not your brain. If brain cells die, they do not regenerate. AND there is so much about the brain we don't yet understand.....OK, ok....I was not going down this road. The point is, in 7, almost 8 years, I have lost sight of who I am. I have changed into another person, one I don't recognize and someone I don't necessarily like. So begins my journey to re-define myself and find out "where that woman went".

summer afternoon
heat from the pavement
shimmering

Moving on!

Wow. I have a blog but I have been unfaithful to it. My last post was in March of 2008. I need to have a look at life and time schedules and re-organize a few things. I have many family commitments, but I'm going to try and start blogging again. I have written about 300 haiku since last posting. Quite a few haibun also. I've had several of both published. Wonder if I have to give credit to publishers when I post in my own blog? I'll look into it.

Ziggurat Tour

Sumerian sun
through the City of Ur
a sandstorm


gray sky
looking through shades
for color



desert dawn
the only colors
a mango sky



cold morning
the desert sun
atop the Ziggurat


Abraham's home
crumbling ancient bricks
beneath my feet


noonday wait
the heft of PPE gear
on my back



lonely walk
in mounds of rubble
looking for...what?

LOL

OK...I'm having a pissy day.

Nothing with my computer is working. The "get-it" people don't seem to...LOL

I still need training classes scheduled. I have no SAP access. I have a lot of things to do and I can't do any of them because of it.

It has been blowing dirt for three days ...and even though I dust my office (where I spend most of my life) everyday...there is still dirt everywhere. My sinuses are acting up because of it. I am on my second large box of Kleenex in a week. I feel like I am getting sick and I am tired of fighting it.

The gym is making me crazy and pissy too...my ipod is dead....lol. OK...it's not making me crazy, I'm just bored.

I need a hug and a night with a warm body (where are ya sweetie, when I need ya?) and I am tired of BEIGE. WHY is EVERYTHING in this country BEIGE????? I need some color. Hook me up. Someone send me a blue sky, some sea green water, hot pink bougainvillea and a few hugs. Oh...and don't forget the "poor pitiful me" box of Kleenex.

getting there slowly.....lol

OK...back to getting into shape. I have been here two months. Since getting here...life has been CRAZY. I have worked (except for last week which was ONLY.. 97hrs) over 100 hrs a week the entire time. We have been short handed and when you are supporting troops in a war zone, you do what is necessary to get the job done.


I have had no time to write, exercise, and have a life...whatever. Hence the sad look of my sorely neglected blog and my fat butt. AS you can see, at least the blog is changing!! AND because YOU can't see (oh, I know, I could post photos...HA!, I don't think so!) ...I feel inclined to tell you. I have lost weight. Yes dear readers, yours truly, paula big butt, has lost weight.


When I arrived here, I was disgusted with myself. All the pants I brought with me (because I positively refused to buy anything bigger...it only encourages you to get comfy on the sofa with your fat self) were too tight. I couldn't get my hands in the pockets...because I could barley get the pants closed.


I have been walking to Air-Ops (about half a mile there) almost every morning to give the briefings. I give the briefings and walk back to the office. I then walk (another half mile, maybe) to the DEFAC (dinning facility for you non-military) at least once a day. The other day I was standing in the DEFAC and they had Rip-it's...I love these little energy drinks (they are the same dimension as a coke can, but short) and they don't always have them, so I wanted to get a few. I had take out boxes for my co-workers and no coat on, hands were full and no pockets, in other words. Hard to carry all this stuff. So I shoved four of them in my pants pockets. I'm standing there when all of a sudden I realize, I have FOUR cans of soda in my pockets and my pants are still loose. I could have grabbed a few more. LOL. Well, I about squealed...in fact I did, my buddies were all looking at me...probably thinking I had lost my mind....haha....that happened the day I signed the contract here...TO LATE!


The big news is that we have two new employees in our dept (the posse has arrived) and we now have help....we might actually get a real life. One of the newbie’s is an ex-drill sergeant and came out here as an MWR coordinator (moral, wellness and recreation) and he does the best ABS class around. He started to drag us all out to the gym. He has me on a plan and is my personal trainer. As well as personal trainer for everyone else in our dept. But they are slackers and this blog is not about them....LOL...IT'S ABOUT ME damn it!...tee hee


SO anyway...off to the gym everyday, sometimes twice a day. I have muscles I didn't know existed before. Is there life in there inside those layers? You bet...I'm feelin it!

Desert Haiku

windy night
the howl of a dog
from somewhere

sunless morning
sweeping the desert dirt
into a cloud


north wind
my nose running faster
than my feet

orange clouds
a taste in my mouth
of dirt


blue skies
little birds beneath
the date palm


Iraqi night
satellites prettier
than stars


witching hour
music laced with
the whir of a treadmill


bunker time
a fly on the wall
squashed


desert moon
tilting the hour glass
with a sigh

New Years Haibun

I received three packages on New Years day. I don't know how my family managed it. It was fabulous. Freshly ground blue mountain coffee (my favorite) and French vanilla powered creamer. Cookies (my Mom makes the best!) and other baked goodies. Socks, sweaters and my coat. Why I thought it wouldn't be "that" cold in the Middle East, is beyond me. Temporary loss of sanity I guess. It has been in the high 30's and low 40's here (I'm from the FL Keys....it was 85 on Christmas) and I am freezing. Most of my things have not arrived yet and I am still in the "living out of a suitcase" mode. Nothing feels like home, everything is new. Setting up house is not that easy in a foreign country when you don't know your way around yet.

New Years Day
Grandma's war cake
plump with raisins